A practical guide
Give praise that lands.
A sincere compliment usually lands better than the giver expects. Notice a real choice, name its impact, and say it while the moment is fresh.
The 20-second formula
- 1. Notice Name the action, choice, or skill you actually saw.
- 2. Name the impact Say what became easier, kinder, clearer, or better.
- 3. Deliver it Keep the words plain and warm. Say them soon.
Make “great job” mean something
Instead of“Great job on that call.”
Try“You stayed calm during that client call and gave the team a clear next step. That steadiness mattered.”
Match the setting
Direct: use “you” and speak to the person.
Public: name their role and share only details they would be comfortable seeing repeated.
When you receive one
Say thank you without deflecting. Save the words for a hard day, then pass the generosity on when you notice good work.
Why it is worth saying
Across several experiments, people underestimated how positive recipients would feel and overestimated how awkward compliments would be. A separate lab study found praise acted as a social reward during motor-skill learning.